January 13,
2017
On January
13, 1990, at about 4pm in the afternoon on a Saturday afternoon, Lori and I got
married at the ripe age of 21 years old..we would both make 22 a few months
later. Brandi was barely a month old, to
be exact 27 days old and at the steps of Honolulu Circuit Court in Kakaako, in front of Judge Choy, our parents,
grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins and friends we embarked on a ride that
will never be forgotten for 25 years and 4 months.
Lori and I met
at University of Hawaii, both coming out of dysfunctional relationships and
created our own dysfunctional relationship for the next quarter century..but
what relationship isn’t without dysfunction.
We had only met in late 1988 through a mutual friend who Lori thought I was
going after…bamp..wrong..I was pursuing her from the first time I met her.
We went out
on our first date to Kam Drive Inn which was supposed to be a group date and
only Kris showed up..she was always holding the lantern for us..lol..and from
there the rest is history.
Like all of
history, there is much good and not so much good. We struggled as a young couple..it was a
volatile relationship, but perseverance was the mainstay. Brandi was the glue that kept us together for
the most part of initial 5-10 years of marriage. We made it work, regardless of all our
shortcomings (more mines than hers..as I had plenty). Lori was amazing..she raised a daughter,
finished her undergraduate degree and her masters and worked and put up with
me..the last probably being the hardest..putting up with me. Through multiple
career changes and my own legal issues that almost cost me my family, Lori
persevered. She hung on for the
family..for Brandi..for me….she never gave up on me. God was working in us even though we did not
know it then, he had a promise and a future for us all.
Looking at
these pictures this morning when I awoke,
seeing how young and naïve we looked on that Saturday afternoon, surrounded by
family…I can only be thankful for the 26+ years I had with her.
I am so
thankful for the crazy times we had raising Brandi all by our young selves on
Oahu with no family, but choke friends that helped. I am so thankful for the struggles we went
through – relational, financial, physical..all of it. I am thankful for the times we laughed and
cried. I am thankful for all the trips
that we took to Disney Land, Disney World for her work, Las Vegas, Oregon, Denver,
Kauai, Hilo, Kona, Maui…all the memories that we made and all the friendships
we made together. I am thankful for all
the times we fought and disagreed…in the 26 years of marriage, I don’t regret
anything at all. Even the hard
times.
Lori was
smart, beautiful, silly, supportive, defiant, strong, fearless, a great mom, a
great sister, a great daughter/grand daughter…and she was Portagee to max. I look at the picture of her back in Kauai
when her Filipino Grandpa passed, Apu…she was silly in her own little way. I look at our 25th anniversary
party we had, 2 days after she had treatment, she was such a fighter..boy,
could she fight…so hard head at times.
I did a
message back in December at our church Aloha Pau’ole…the message point was
Fix – Trust – Pray.
Fix My eyes
on Jesus
Trust in His
promises
Pray for His
will in my life
When the
news of Lori’s battle with cancer hit us in October 2012, I did not know the
plan that God had for us..for her, for me.
But what I did know and what Lori made me promise was that we would give
God all the glory in whatever the outcome was.
I look at that picture on that day 27 years ago…I see what future and
hope of what God had in store for us…a beautiful daughter in Brandi, my
ministry calling to be a discipler – a shepherd, a pastor. I see my wife, next to me – through it
all. Even now, she may not be physically
here, but she is in my heart and on my mind.
God’s promises and future for Me, for Brandi, for all those that may
read this – is set in His hand and His time and His will. Enjoy the ride…cause that is what we
did.
I am in a
season now..where it’s me and God, me and Brandi and me and all those God has
placed in my life. I am committed to
Fixing my eyes on Jesus, Trusting in His promises and praying for His will even
in the midst of the physical and emotional void.
Lori’s
favorite scripture in her battle was Joshua 1:9
HAVE I NOT COMMANDED YOU “BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS” DO NOT BE AFRAID; DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED, FOR
THE LORD YOUR GOD WILL BE WITH YOU WHERE YOU GO.
She lived
that out, to the very end. Being strong
and courageous – doesn’t mean being tough or a bad ass..it means to be able to
admit that you need help and ask God for His help and to place people around
you for He will always be there.
Lord, thank
You for putting Lori in m y life 28 years ago.
From a crazy, dysfunctional, messed up time in both of our lives, You
put us together as a team, as husband and wife and you blessed us with a
daughter and you said it was good. Thank
You Lord for the memories, for the victories, for the struggles for everything…You
have always been there and when we as a family acknowledged You as our Lord and
Savior, you restored so much joy and peace.
Peace beyond our understanding.
Lord, thank You for loving us, for giving us grace, mercy and love. To You be the glory!!
Lori, I love
you!! I miss you! You will always be in
my heart and always on my mind regardless of the future that God has in store
for me. Love you choke!!!
